Coming Home Again
by jacqs30
Summary: After John and Natalie break up the first time, Natalie decides to leave Llanview for a fresh start.  It's now Christmas 2009 and she's finally ready to come home to visit the family she left behind. Natalie/John and Derek/Penelope potential romances.
1. Chapter 1

Coming Home Again

Set-up: After John and Natalie break up, Natalie decides to leave Llanview for a fresh start without John, Cristian or memories of her shattered life to stand in her way. It's now Christmas 2009 and she's finally ready to come home to visit the family she left behind.

Chapter 1

Snow was falling around her. She had forgotten how beautiful Llanview was in the winter with the snow-capped Llantano Mountain towering over the small town she called home for some of the happiest and saddest years of her life. As she passed the sign wlecoming her to Llanview she wondered why she wasn't questioning her decision to come back here after all this time. Granted, she had missed her home, her family. But there were a fair share of unhappy memories here as well. But as she looked around the town as she drove through on her way to Llanfair, she smiled at every storefront, every landmark. This was her home and nothing was going to keep her away any longer.

John stared at the shiny black SUV that just passed him as he turned into the LPD parking lot. It might as well have had a flashing neon "FBI" sign attached to it. He wondered why an agent would be in Llanview two days before Christmas. No, if he was honest he would acknowledge that he wondered why an agent would be in Llanview and him not know about it. Maybe Bo knew. He walked directly to the Commissioner's office and entered without knocking. He watched as Bo hung up the phone, smiling. The smile disappeared when Bo saw the frown on John's face. "What's with you, McBain? Playing Scrooge again this year?"

John frowned even more. "Not funny. Do you know anything about a fed being in town?"

Bo looked at him curiously. "You feeling territorial, John?"

"Why is it territorial to want to know why a federal agent just drove through downtown Llanview and didn't stop here?"

"Because federal agents have families too or have you forgotten?"

"Families?" John wasn't following.

"Yeah, families. Natalie is home for Christmas."

John felt the air leave his lungs in one solid whoosh. Natalie. He had spent the past three years avoiding that name, her name, her face, everything about her. And with one sentence from his boss he was taken back to that time. When everything in his world turned upside down.

"John?" Bo was looking at him strangely. It had been years since he had seen John react to something like this.

John shook his head. "Yeah Bo, sorry. So Natalie is back?"

"She's visiting for Christmas. She's not back to stay, John."

"Right, of course not. Her life isn't here anymore."

Bo wasn't sure if he should say what he was getting ready to say but the father in him wouldn't let it go. "John, Natalie fought to get where she is now. She worked hard to get into the FBI and she loves what she does. Don't make her regret coming home."

"What do you think I'm going to do, Bo?" John stared incredulously at his boss and who he thought was his friend.

"Honestly I don't know. But I know there will always be something between the two of you. I just don't want to see her hurt any more than she already has been."

"Go ahead and say it. You don't want her to get hurt any more by me."

"I love my niece and I don't want to see her in pain, period. The rest is your guilt talking." Bo picked up a stack of files and walked out of his office leaving John standing there, his hands on his hips, staring at the ceiling.

Natalie smiled broadly as she came to rest in the driveway and looked at the Christmas decorations filling every available space on the house she had come to see as her home. Llanfair would always be a little too formal for her taste but there was no doubt it was filled with love as long as her mother was there. She had missed family Christmas' while she concentrate on starting her career but she would never regret her choice. She knew what she was capable of for the first time in her life and now she was ready to face all of Llanview as FBI Supervisory Special Agent Natalie Buchanan.

As she cut off the ignition, the door to the house opened and Jessica came running out of the house, squealing. "Natalie!" She hugged her twin tightly. "I've missed you so much!"

Natalie grinned. "I've missed you too, sis. I'm glad to be home."

Jessica smiled happily. "It's nice to hear you call Llanview home again. Let's get you inside. Mom has hot chocolate waiting."

Natalie shook her head, smiling. Leave it to Viki to make it feel like coming home to a Norman Rockwell painting. "Hot chocolate in the library by the fire sounds like heaven on earth to me." Jessica helped Natalie gather her bags and they walked to the house leaving their cargo in the foyer as Viki walked through the library doors."

"My Natalie. You look beautiful, my dear." Viki hugged her daughter and kissed her cheek. "It's good to have you home."

Natalie beamed. "It's good to be home, Mom."

"Let's get inside so you can fill us in on what's been going on with you." Viki guided her daughters into the library.

Natalie knew her mother was more interested in her personal life than her position with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU. However, since joining that specialized group of agents, what little social life she had before ceased to exist. "Well, I spent Thanksgiving in Phoenix working on a serial murder case. And the week after that, we were in Madison, Wisconsin dealing with an arsonist who had graduated to murder. And last week I was giving a lecture at Quantico. The biggest excitement there was getting at least 8 hours of sleep five nights in a row. You have no idea how exciting that is these days!"

Viki and Jessica both appeared horrified and it was everything Natalie could do not to burst into laughter. "What? You didn't think I was attending State dinners and hobnobbing with the Obamas did you?"

Viki shook her head slightly. "Well no, not exactly. I guess I didn't realize how much work your group had."

Natalie saw the concern in her mother's eyes. "Llanview doesn't have the market on serial killers I'm afraid."

Viki looked up and saw the twinkle in her daughter's eyes and realized the humor, yet truth behind her statement. "I guess we have had our fair share, haven't we? It makes sense that we aren't the only ones."

"I love my job. I love helping people through the hardest time of their lives. And I love putting away the bag guys."

Viki could see the passion in Natalie's eyes and knew her daughter had found her calling. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm proud of me too."

John sat at the bar and stared at the pool table. Rodi's had always been special to Natalie, and therefore to him. She had loved working here back then. He could still see her in the black t-shirt and jeans that made up the Rodi's uniform. But what he remembered most clearly was her smile. The smile she would flash whenever he would walk in the door. That was back when she was always happy to see him. What he couldn't remember was the last time he saw her smile like that.

Natalie watched her family as they smiled and chatted, sipping hot chocolate and coffee. She felt completely at peace even after the time she had missed with them. She knew that she was finally the whole person she had yearned to be but could never have been if she had stayed here.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I haven't watched OLTL in quite some time so in my Llanview, Bo is police commissioner, John is lead detective and Bo and Natalie are very close – all the way things were when I last watched the show.

Natalie came downstairs in search of coffee. The past few days of family gatherings and late nights had taken it out of her. She was used to late nights since she joined the BAU and the Bureau in general but Lord/Buchanan Christmas' were something even the most seasoned FBI agent wasn't prepared for. She smiled as she walked into the library and found a tray waiting on the coffee table, along with today's copy of "The Banner". She unfolded the paper after pouring her first cup of coffee. The front page headline read, "Police stumped as fourth body discovered". Natalie quickly read the article before pulling out her cell phone and calling her favorite uncle.

"Buchanan," Bo barked into the phone. If this is another reporter, he thought, I will go through this receiver.

"Buchanan back at you, Uncle Bo."

Bo smiled despite the stress of the latest serial killer to strike Llanview. "Hi sweetheart, how is my favorite agent niece?"

She laughed. "I'm your only agent niece and I'm fine. I just read the front page of 'The Banner'."

"Ah," he signed. "That explains the early morning call. Are you missing work so badly that you had to find out about our latest crime spree?"

"No, I care enough about my hometown to want to help." Natalie cringed as she hoped Bo wouldn't take her offer as an insult to what he and the department were capable of handling. "If you want me to, of course. I don't want to overstep."

Bo chuckled softly. "Natalie, you couldn't overstep as far as I'm concerned. I know where your heart is little lady."

She grinned as she would hear the voice of her late grandfather, Asa, coming through his son's words. "Would it be ok if I came to see you later this morning? I know things must be crazy around there right now."

"That sounds like a plan to me. Around 11:00 work for you?"

"I'll be there! And Uncle Bo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Not telling me to mind my own business."

Bo laughed. "I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth sweetheart. A member of the BAU wants to take a look at a case that we have nothing on so far; I'm not going to argue with a chance at help to catch this one. I don't much care for people dying on my watch."

At 10:45 Natalie walked into the Llanview police station. Little had changed since she had worked here a few short years ago. A young woman she didn't recognize sat at the desk that had once been hers. The blond-haired woman looked overwhelmed as the files threatened to slide from her desk onto the floor and her phone rang. Carefully she put her hand on the most precarious stack of files as she picked up the phone.

It had been more than three years since she had heard the voice that came bellowing through the phone. The only way she had ever begun to explain that voice was that it sounded like whiskey – a little harsh but would warm you through like nothing else. Natalie felt her body shudder, not with dread but with familiarity.

She saw the terrified look on the woman's face and couldn't help but smile. She had been the only office manager John had never been able to intimidate. Some things obviously never change.

She knew her family was concerned about the possibility of her running into John while she was in town. But she wasn't worried. She knew she was a much different woman than she was when she left Llanview. John McBain couldn't get to her anymore.

She knocked lightly on Bo's office door, hearing his muffled "come in" through the glass. She opened it and saw her uncle just getting to his feet. "Hello sweetheart."

She smiled broadly as she crossed the room to meet him for a warm hug. "Hi Uncle Bo."

He held her by the arms as he looked at her. "You certainly have changed since you last visited, Natalie."

Her smile faded slightly. "Really? How so?"

"You're finally aware of what you're capable of doing. A lot of us knew it way back then. I'm glad you figured it out too."

Natalie couldn't help but laugh. "You don't make me sound too quick on the uptake!"

Bo shook his head and laughed. "Oh that's not it and you know it. You always sold yourself a little short before. Leaving did you good."

She nodded as they moved to sit at the table across from Bo's desk where he had files from the murders spread out. "So what's the latest?" she asked.

Before Bo could answer, his door opened quickly and John stormed in. He stopped short as he saw Natalie. Amazed he realized that she was more beautiful than the last time he had seen her. He hadn't that was possible until now.

Natalie turned at the sound of the door opening. She felt her heart skip a beat as her eyes met his. "Hi John."

He swallowed, trying to find his voice. "Hi Natalie." His voice sounded foreign to him, strained. He realized he wasn't breathing. Clearing his throat he focused on Bo instead of the stunning redhead so that he could force words out of his mouth. "I'm headed back out to the body dump site. Just checking to see if you wanted to tag along."

Bo shook his head. "I have to meet with the mayo in an hour."

Natalie stood up. "I'd like to go with you."

John looked at her, then at Bo, then back at Natalie. "Why?" He cringed as he realized how abrupt he sounded.

Ignoring what she knew to be another example of John's impeccable social skills, Natalie said, "Because I thought maybe I could offer some insight."

"I didn't realize you were here to work."

"It wasn't my intention but I thought while I'm here, I could try to help."

"Not my call. Bo?" John looked at Bo and hoped his boss would cut him some slack and keep Natalie out of the case.

Bo knew what John was hoping for. But the case had to take precedence over the personal feelings of his lead detective. "I've already told Natalie that I welcome her help."

Natalie smiled at her uncle as she gathered her coat and purse and prepared to follow John.

Saying nothing, he nodded and turned toward the door and opened it. He waited until Natalie walked through it before he looked up from the floor and followed her. They walked in silence to the parking lot. John stopped and looked at Natalie as they reached his car. "Do you want to ride with me?"

She took measure of him: his stance was rigid, defensive and the look in his eyes was unfamiliar to her. "Your call, McBain. I know you don't want my input. I'm certainly not going to force myself on you more. I can follow you if you would prefer."

Her tone came across as professional but he could feel the ice in her words. He always managed to make a mess of things with her. "There's no reason to take two cars." With that he walked to the driver's side and unlocked both doors, waiting for her to join him.

Rolling her eyes she walked to her side of the car and opened the door. "Let's get going. This guy is escalating."

John nodded and drove swiftly toward the dump site. Crime scene tape still outlined the perimeter. They parked several yards away and got out of the car. Natalie looked around, jotting notes in a small notebook she had pulled from her purse.

John watched her curiously. They were still 20 feet or more from where the body had been found. He had previously had colleagues who had sworn by the information they received from the BAU but he had never seen the group in action and generally regarded what they did as educated guesswork, not solid police work.

Natalie could feel the weight of John's stare on her as she jotted down her observations. She forced her ex out of her thoughts and focused solely on her surroundings. The area was remote, wooded with only one road leading in if her memory was accurate. She would verify that with John once she was done surveying the scene.

John couldn't help but admit to himself how impressed he was by the confidence Natalie exuded as she worked. She was no longer the self-conscious young woman who needed his approval. She as sure of herself, of her training and it showed on her face and in her body language. As much as it hurt him to admit, he would have held her back if they had stayed together. She had become the woman she was meant to be when she left him and their relationship behind.

Natalie turned to face John and saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes before the mask returned, blocking out any feelings he might have revealed to her otherwise. He smiled slightly as she looked at him. "Want to see where we found the body?"

She nodded and followed him another 20 feet or so. The outline of the body remained and Natalie could see the images Bo had shown her earlier flash through her mind. The victim had been re-dressed and left here within the last 24 to 36 hours based on the coroner's estimate. The positioning of the body suggested the killer wanted to illicit a reaction from whoever discovered her. Her clothing was on her body; however, her bra had been removed and her shirt left open to expose her breasts. Her skirt had been pushed up to her waist and her underwear pulled down to her left ankle, her legs spread apart. Natalie had seen cases similar to this, though none quite as thorough in shock value.

She finished her notes and watched as John looked around with Jefferson from the crime scene unit. John started to walk towards her but stopped as something to his right caught his attention. He took a pair of tweezers and picked up and piece of paper that was partially covered by leaves. Sealing it inside an evidence bag, John handed it to Jefferson then walked to where Natalie was standing.

"What did you find?" she asked curiously.

John smiled, hands on his hips. "Honestly? Maybe nothing but since it's inside the perimeter I figured we better check it out."

Natalie smiled back at him. "Sounds smart to be. But I asked what you found, not why you picked it up." Her tone quickly cooled.

He winced at the sharpness in her words. "Sorry. Old habits die hard I guess. It's a torn piece of paper with some letters and numbers on it. Once the lab guys are done with it we can look at it more closely."

The warmth in her smile returned when he said "we". She moved a step closer to him and asked, "Is it hard for you to take me seriously as an agent?"

He shook his head, taking a small step back. Being that close to her was still distracting, even after years away from her. "Absolutely not. It's hard for me to put aside my instinct to want to protect you." He saw the fire fill her eyes. "Now just calm down, I know you don't need protecting. You never did. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to anyway."

He wasn't sure how she would react to him saying that, especially using the present tense. Surprisingly, she smiled. "It's ok; I know you always wanted to spare me from the ugliness of your job. As long as you know that I can handle it."

"I know. You used to think you needed me. You always had it backwards." With that he walked to the car and got inside, praying she wouldn't question him on the slip he had just made.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Note: This is where the story becomes a cross-over with Criminal Minds, which is a show based on the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI where, in my little story world, Natalie now works. Besides, a little jealousy and competition is good for John and if anyone can spark some jealousy I would think it would be yummy Derek Morgan (played by Shemar Moore). SIGH. Ok, anyway back to it…..

Natalie stood still, stunned by John's words. Had he just implied that he was the one who needed her? Ok that wasn't just implied. He flat out said so. Wow. She forced herself to move to the passenger door and open it, sliding into the car and closing the door softly. She could tell he was holding his breath, as was she. Knowing John he was hoping she could ignore what he had said. He was the classic avoider personality. Granted that wasn't an official psychological diagnosis that you would find in any textbook but John was a textbook case. The clichés and rambling thoughts going through her mind made her smile in spite of the confusing situation in which she found herself.

John saw the smile playing at the corners of her mouth. He felt himself staring at her lips, and then moving slowly up to her eyes. Her eyes always twinkled when she smiled like they were filled with diamonds. Since when was he so poetic? Since the day that Natalie Balsom entered his life, turned it upside down then left it again. Sure he had gone through the motions of living over the past 3 years. To some, he even appeared to be happy he was certain. But deep down in the soul that only the woman beside him really knew, he was miserable and lost since she walked away from him. And now, here she was back to remind him of what he was missing. And soon, she would go back to her life and he would be left here to deal with the darkness again.

Natalie had turned to say something to John when she caught the look in his eyes. It was difference from the one she had seen as they were leaving the station, that one unfamiliar. This look, this darkness was one she recognized all too well. "John?"

His eyes snapped to attention quickly at the sound of her voice. "Yeah?"

"You seem distracted." She watched him as he took a deep breath and the darkness subsided. The mask was back.

"I'm good. You know how I get when I'm on a case."

She nodded. "Probably better than anyone else. Want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about. We just need to find this guy."

She smiled slightly at the mention, again, of "we". "You're ok with me helping out?"

He nodded but didn't quite meet her eyes. "If you can help us catch this guy faster, then why wouldn't I be?"

She didn't have a chance to answer the question before her cell phone rang. She smiled. It was one of her co-workers and the person she was closest to at Quantico, Derek Morgan. "Hey Morgan, what's up?"

"Hey Red. Just thought I'd give you a head's up that the team is looking at the case going on in your hometown."

"Funny you said that. I'm actually riding with the lead detective right now. We just finished checking out the latest dump site."

"And I thought JJ worked fast. Impressive. I guess the locals are ok with having help then?"

"The commissioner is my uncle."

Morgan laughed. "Got it. Find out if he's interested in the whole team or just you lending a hand. We're ready to fly out in an hour if we're needed."

"I'll let you know. Thanks Derek." She looked at John. "My team is prepared to fly in to help develop a profile if you and Uncle Bo are interested."

John was still processing the light tone of her voice when she talked to her co-worker. He realized he was jealous. "That's Bo's call. Whatever he thinks is best."

Natalie would practically see the wall build up right before her eyes. "Since when do you give up control to anyone, even Bo?"

"When my objectivity is in question." He said the words quickly and quietly and hoped again Natalie would let it go without further questioning. He knew better.

"Why would your objectivity be in question?" She was genuinely perplexed.

"Because it involves you. I've never been objective when it comes to you and I never will be." John turned the car into the LPD parking lot and drove to his assigned spot before turning off the car and facing Natalie. "Some things are outside of my control. And this is one of them. If Bo wants your team here, then I will go with his recommendation. Let it go Natalie, please."

"Ok. For now. Let's go talk to Bo." She got out of the car and walked towards the front door. John took a deep breath before following.

Two hours later:

The group of agents known as the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU, walked off the plane and split into two groups as they loaded their gear into the waiting SUVs that would take them to the Llanview Police Department where the newest member of their team waited for them.

Supervisory Special Agent (SSA) Aaron Hotchner was the unit chief for the group, riding in the first SUB along with SSA Jennifer Jareau and Dr. Spencer Reid. Following them was the vehicle containing SSAs David Rossi, Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss.

A few minutes later the team arrived at the LPD and unloaded their files and laptops as Natalie came through the door.

Derek noticed her first. "Hey Red."

She smiled broadly. "Hey D. I'm glad you guys could get here so quickly. This guy is escalating and right now, there's not much to go on so our help is going to be appreciated." To herself she added, at least by most everyone here.

The group followed Natalie as she led the way to the door. A war room had been set up across from John's office down the narrow hallway from the main squad room. Bo and John were waiting there when they walked in.

Natalie went through the introductions between her team and her uncle. John had purposely stayed in the background so that he could evaluate the group of agents.

He first looked over the agent introduced as SSA Morgan, the man Natalie had talked to earlier. He was about John's height from the look of things with a physique that showed he spent quite a bit of time lifting weights. He carried himself confidently and though John would have termed him a pretty boy had he met him under different circumstances, he could see that the agent took his work seriously.

The unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, looked like the typical FBI agent. No smile, no sign of personality under the suit. The oldest of the group John recognized as David Rossi. He had helped start the BAU before leaving the Bureau for a lucrative book deal. Several years ago, he had returned to the unit and left his book writing career behind. The youngest of the group reminded John of the stereotypical nerdy kid that everyone had in their high school class. Tall, thin and a bit awkward, Dr. Spencer Reid, as he was introduced, barely looked old enough to be out of college.

There were two women on the team, other than Natalie. Jennifer Jareau introduced herself as JJ and is the team liaison with the local police departments. John had heard Bo talking to her on the phone as he officially invited them to consult on the case, which is a requirement before the BAU can become involved in an investigation unless it falls under federal jurisdiction for some other reason, such as something that crosses state lines. Emily Prentiss appeared to be the most reserved of the group, other than Hotchner. She didn't say much but he could see her observant gaze moving around the room and knew she was listening to every word being exchanged between the local and federal groups.

After sizing up the team, John's gaze returned to Derek Morgan. Natalie was standing next to him as Bo talked to the group, giving them updates on what they had learned since the files had originally been sent to the BAU for review. John could see the closeness between them. It showed in the way they regarded each other. What he couldn't tell was how close. He kept telling himself it didn't matter; Natalie had moved on from him, from Llanview and there was no getting that back. But that didn't mean he had stopped caring about her. Instincts told him that Morgan was a player. Something about the confident way he carried himself, the way he stood compared to the women he was around, his smile. John was self-aware enough to know he was jealous. But that didn't mean his instincts weren't spot on. He knew he needed to mind his own business. Natalie didn't like to be told what she should and shouldn't do by anyway, let alone him, especially now.

Natalie felt like she was in a dream. She was in the town she loved; doing the job she had become so passionate about. While she hated that Llanview was dealing with another serial killer, she was thrilled that for the first time she was able to help with the investigation. She was going to help bring this killer to justice.


End file.
